So Hipster It Hurts

by Muldoon's Clever Girls

supported by
Alex Rettig
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Alex Rettig these songs inspires me to kick ass! Favorite track: Karate Mosh Kid.
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released March 5, 2013

Jamie Mason - Vocals
Alex Crist - Bass and Back-Up Vocals
Cody Weber - Drums and Back-Up Vocals



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Muldoon's Clever Girls Keokuk, Iowa

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Track Name: Galactic Maximus Z
Whats up? We're Muldoon's Clever Girls
And we're here to fuck this show
And then you'll say we're playing too loud but you're old
And you should go
Yea the bass is fucked, so is the music
It's so god damn bland (haha)
And I'm not the dude from 'Fight Club' - Sorry to let you down
Track Name: Pink and Yellow Tie
Hands forward face down - your backs against the wall
Don't mind the blood honey it's just - oh...
I'll let me 9 mil do the talking - from here on out
You do exactly what he says

I walk in with my pink and yellow tie

Not that bad really
And I tried my best to love you
And I always will...
Track Name: Another Teenage Wereboy
Ladies and Gentlemen
Boys and Girls
Ghost and Ghouls
And all you scraggly fucks in-between
We are Muldoon's Clever Girls
Coming to you with our own rendition of
"The Howl of the Howlest"
"The Fly of the McFly"
A tale of another Teenage Wolfboy

My chucks are blood red like the moon tonight - and I keep on changin'
I got the howl of a thousand wolves - and I've got the fangs to prove it!

Sharp fangs and I'm only 15
The girl wants to go out to the silver screen
She says she wants some popcorn and I tell her its alright
What's it matter with these changes? I'll be pop-poppin' all night
I slide in all Marty McFly
Don't worry I won't stutter because I'm already high
I put the moves on correctly - but out the window I stare
The bitch can watch the movie without a single care OH!

And I feel this - like a howl in my heart
When I grow this thick hair onto my arms
And I feel this - like a howl in my heart
Do you get this way too? When you stare at the moon?

Oh my god - I swear that I'm changin' you know that
I am that I am!
Oh my god - I swear that I'm changin' you know that
I am that I am!

You! Me! A Midnight brunch by the moon!
You! Me! A Midnight brunch by the moon!

Sharp fangs and I'm only 15 - she wanted to go out to the silver screen
I think she needs some flavor - but I mean she's alright
What's matter with these changes - I'll be chomp-chompin'
All. Night.
Track Name: Planet X(XX)
I’ve seen it, the way their bodies move and move
I’ve done my scientific research
For so many sleepless nights
Those women won’t get off my mind

She wants it good
She wants it hard
She wants it all
She wants it now
She wants it now, NOW! now, NOW!
We’re all doomed because of
Planet XXX!

And we stare as the stars align
Out in space but still left breathing

And she’s got a way with words
The kind that moves from side-to-side-to-side
As she rides her fiery moon
The final countdown to planet Earth’s doom

She wants it good
She wants it hard
She wants it all
She wants it now
She wants it now, NOW! now, NOW!
We’re all doomed because of
Planet XXX!

And this is the type of bitch that makes you sweat
from your brow right into your eye
Track Name: I Fucked Up
I Fucked Up!
Yea I fucked up
Go ahead and tell everybody that yea I fucked up
Every morning, every evening, every day I fucked up
Momma would cry at so much I fucked up
But I'm not sorry
And I don't feel bad
I tried my best to keep things tight
And I can't seem to get anything right
Track Name: Gut Feelings [Feat. Nalani Proctor of The War I Survived]
I need you
Like I need a hole in my head
I don’t know me
‘I hope that you just choke’
On your words
That taste so bitter now
And I hope that I was worth more than this

Believe its you again
I don’t know what to say
Somehow I do - They flood, and then
‘I hope you choke on every single’
word that I said
I hate - I wanna take it back
I don’t want to lose you again
But I’m bitter…

You see me
Like I’ve been here before
And I don’t know me
I don’t know me at all

The words go in deep
Right in between the bone
Into my guts and my guts and my guts and…
Track Name: Lee County All-Stars
Hey! Hey! Hey!

Lazy eyes - What are we doing tonight?
When everything is burning alive - We got lazy eyes

We're young and we're bitter
And we stoked the hot flames of hell itself

We were the youth in spite of an end
We could have been anything but we became friends
It doesn't matter where you're at - Just make dents
Because not everything has to make sense

Force into our lungs - there's a meaning
Crept up under the rungs in the cieling
We don't have to be kids to have feelings
We could always be this and that's okay

Lazy - Hazy - And we're almost always there

From the path we stray to the grass
We are the kids that don't give up
We're caught in a loop of growing up
There's no such thing as an adult

Gaining on us quick you better run before this town eats all of us
I thinks it hungry
Keokuk is a ghost you either leave or turn to dust not what it was
I know it's burning down
Gaining on us quick you better run before this town eats all of us
A midnight snack
Keokuk is a ghost you either leave or turn to dust not what it was
Track Name: The SS Apple Pie
Sir Captain Can McCarty
Of the SS Apple Pie
Sailed his ship through the stratosphere into the unknown sky
He had lazer beams and knew Taiwanese and had a robot-fucking-eye
Can you believe that shit? (Nope)
He's not here now
And we never knew why

Captain Can Captain Can
Where ya been where ya been?
Captain Can Captain Can
Whoa-o-o-o-oh the McCarty Party!

Some say he fought a giant squid with lazer-fucking-eyes
And could probably control shit with his fucking mind- oh my!
He shot lightning bolts- at a thousand volts that could tear apart the sky
Can you believe that shit? (Nope)
He fought that bitch and I'm not sure if he died

Pulled out his sling shot and said...

As the fight ensued
Our hero against the ropes
And who's the victor?
Oh our Captain! Oh our Captain!
Track Name: This Is Being Bitter As All Hell
I know why
you keep yourself awake at night and cry yourself to sleep alright?
And I
Can't admit I'm wrong or at fault, I just need to bury myself

I'll make you mind
Now talk about a fucking win
It all seems fine
The shit that's in your fucking head
Everything you thought you knew and Everything I thought I knew and

So now I
Get to sit around and feel real down
And everyone says I'm fine
And you
Get to do whatever, see whatever, well isn't that just fine?

I'm at the bottom of the barrel stewing in shit
And I've been here for a while
I've been here for days, for weeks, for months, for years
And it's not getting any bettter

Can you hear that?
That's the sound of my still beating heart
And its not going to down
Because I've been treading on this river of shit- for way too long

And where were you?
Track Name: Karate Mosh Kid
Stressed from the week and the weak alike
Smoked trees till he tripped, now he's straight-edge for life.
Riding the streets on his bicycle seats because he's only 15 but he looks 33
Stares at his clothes because he already knows
Swag is the way a white boy gets ho's
I rock says the kid and I'm having fun
Now get in the pit and try to love someone

After he realized he kicked the air's ass - He stopped
Cut your hair, Wash your face
Shut up mom! It's not a phase!

Stressed from the fam because they don't understand
that I look good in black and minus the tan
He's hardcore as fuck because he thinks your band sucks
Because his is the best in the land
He hates gym class- motherfucker doesn't know nothing

Don't know nothing
Don't know nothing
Cept Hardcore things

Merry as a machine - licorice and ice cream
Black as a dope fiend's teeth after binging
The hair on his chinny-chin his skinny-skin
Puberty was really rough for him
Now break it down - Make a frown
He's the hardest-heavy-fuck-around
He makes a fist - he kicks the air
It's about damn time that he doesn't care

But then
Just once
The air fought back
With a mighty gust of invisible might
He made the boy cry for ten thousand years